


refraction

by fleurami



Category: Future Card Buddyfight
Genre: M/M, Pre-Relationship, i guess?, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 21:32:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14902418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurami/pseuds/fleurami
Summary: (noun) physics1. change in direction of propagation of any wave as a result of its traveling at different speeds at different points along the wave front.2. measurement of the focusing characteristics of an eye or eyes.





	refraction

            “You’re an absolute dipshit” Gaito deadpanned at me as I sat on the ground, rubbing my head.

            “You’re not wrong.” I winced as he rubbed the spot where my head made contact with the table, causing a sigh to escape Gaito’s lips.  _ Wow, this is gonna leave a huge bruise, yikes. _

            “Perhaps next time you should tie your shoelaces when I point it out.” Gaito kneeled down as he muttered this, he leaned in close to me as if to examine my head. I couldn’t stop the smile from forming on my lips, that always happened whenever he was around me. 

            “Maybe I should, yeah.” I let out an unsteady chuckle, but winced again when Gaitos fingers touched the sore spot on my head.

            “It doesn’t seem like anything too serious. I’d suggest laying down and just avoiding doing anything else stupid.” Gaito stood up and started heading towards the kitchen. “I’ll get you an ice pack, just wait there.”

            I huffed, moving myself to the couch.  _ I’m not that stupid. I can last five minutes without hurting myself. _ Annoyed, my head throbbing slightly, I kicked off my shoes a bit harsher than normal. The first one flew off and hit the wall with a  _ thunk. _

            While the other-

            “ _ Ow.”  _ The shoe somehow flung backwards towards me, smacking me square in the face and landing in my lap. I rubbed my nose and the pain there started to ease, when I heard Gaito walk back into the living room.

            “Did you say somethi-  _ Kanata.”  _ I looked up at him from the couch and tilted my head questioningly. “I told you  _ not  _ to do anything else stupid, and now your face is literally bleeding.” He shook his head at me and muttered, “You’re absolutely exhausting.”

            Laughing, I moved the shoe off of my lap to stand up. “I know, you say it a lot, sometimes I wonder why you even stick around me.” I couldn’t quite place the expression on Gaito’s face as I said that, but I was never very good at interpreting emotions to begin with, and Gaito seemed to be an expert at hiding them. “I guess I should go clean this up, huh?” Gaito shook his head and handed the ice pack over. 

            “You think so? What else would you do, walk around with blood pouring out your nose?” I winced, bringing a hand up to cover my face.

            “Is it that bad?” 

            “Honestly, what did you even do? It looks like you kicked yourself in the face, which knowing you I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what you had done.” Gaito brought up a hand to rub his temple. “I swear, left alone you’re destined to hurt yourself in some way or another.”

            “Oh, uh I guess it makes sense it looks like that. I was kicking my shoe off when it kinda came back to hit me in the face.” I watched as Gaito’s mouth dropped open, and I brought my hand up to scratch the back of my neck.  _ Jeez, how embarrassing.  _

            “I’m almost impressed. God, no wonder Athora’s always trying to protect you, without him you’re a wreck.” Gaito’s tone was light and joking, with only a twinge of mockery in it.

            Still, the words struck a chord.

_             “Without him, you’re a wreck.” _

            I turned on my heel and quietly walked to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind  me. Then, it hit me all at once. I could feel my breaths coming out too quickly and tears threatening to escape my eyes. I know this is stupid, and normally I wouldn’t react so strongly, but with all of this stress on me, Gaito’s teasing just  _ hurt.  _ I know that he hadn’t really meant it, but it felt too true.

_             “Without him, you’re a wreck.” _

            I spent countless nights, up hours after late soccer practices to study for tests the next day, knowing that I can’t fail them or I wouldn't be perceived as worthy anymore. I relied on Athora to push me to go to sleep, to remind me to eat and drink water, because Athora knew that I wouldn’t otherwise. I just… had other things to worry about.

            My friends say I have no common sense, and that’s kinda true. My mind’s too full of anxieties and thoughts about class, soccer, and all around just trying to live, sometimes common sense slipped through the cracks. It was something I never minded them joking about, though. I know sometimes I say dumb things, and I’m not always emotionally or socially competent, I’m pretty blunt and straightforward. It never bothered me before.

            But my head was pounding, and Athora wasn’t there, and I have’t slept in nearly two days, and finals were in a week, and I have an important match in two days, and Gaito saw me act stupidly, and and  _ and- _

            I looked in the mirror, grabbed one of the darker towels, wet it, and started to wipe the blood off my face. There were small cuts from the bottom of my cleats, but they’d heal soon. Hopefully.

            Breathe in, breathe out.

_             Gaito thinks I’m an idiot. _

_             Why should he bother to hang around me? _

            I shook my head. Water droplets flew everywhere, but my head felt a little clearer.

            He was right, though. Athora’s my rock, without him I’m-

            I can’t do anything. He’s the one who protects me, helps me through the hard times, keeps me from doing stupid stuff.

            I sighed, and set the towel down.  _ I’m overreacting. I should head back before Gaito thinks something really is wrong. _

            Breathe in, breathe out. 

_             Athora will be back soon. Put on the mask, pretend it doesn’t hurt, everything will be fine. _

_             You’ll ace the test, you’ll win the game, and you’ll have Athora back soon. _

_             And Gaito… _

            Gaito will still make fun of and tease me. He obviously doesn’t really like being around me. I’m “exhausting” to be around. I should honestly stop holding onto this hope that he’ll reciprocate and stop forcing him to hang out with me.

            I’ll just pretend I don’t love him, bottle it up, distance myself slowly, and soon things will go back to how they were.

_             Empty?  _

            I pushed the thought out of my head.

            Being around Gaito was… Everything felt so  _ good.  _ I felt light, and I wanted nothing more than to make him happy, make him smile. 

            But I was the perfect kid with no common sense, boring and not worthy of a second thought. I was draining to be around, for him.

            I sighed again, and pushed the door open. 

            I was met face-to-face with him.

            “Kanata, I-”

            “Oh! Gaito, you’re-”

            We stopped at the same time, then opened our mouths at the same time as well. At this, neither of us could stop from laughing.

            After some (possibly manic, in my case) giggling, I gestured at him.

            “Go ahead.”

            “Ah, listen, Kanata. I wanted to apologize.” My jaw dropped.  _ Did he… notice I was upset?  _ I quickly wiped the surprised look off of my face, and listened to him continue. “If my teasing ever goes too far or crosses a line, please do let me know. I don’t wish to ever hurt your feelings, truly.” Prior to now, Gaito’s gaze had been off to the side, but now he turned and looked right at me. Our eyes met and my heart melted, he seemed so focused on me. “I care about you, a lot, so please forgive me.”

            I was stunned. I never imagined Gaito… saying this to me.

_             Is this his way of telling me… no- don’t get your hopes up. _

            Regardless, it felt so sweet, having him sincerely apologize to me. The anxiety that was clutching my heart earlier eased up a little, and I felt like I could breathe.

            “Thank you, Gaito. I appreciate it a lot, actually.” I don’t want him to know the extent of how hurt I felt, or the stress I was going through.

            But, for once, I felt like I found someone that I can maybe open up to about it all. It’s cheesy, but it felt like my first buddyfight against Gao. Despite all of my defenses, he broke through them and got to me.

            And here Gaito was, tearing down my walls and breaking through to me. 

            “Hey, Gaito.” He tilted his head at me, and if it wasn’t the cutest thing ever… “Wanna go get ice cream?” He nodded at me, and without thinking I grabbed his hand and walked to the door. 

            I hope he’ll let me do this for a little longer, let me drag him around until he gets sick of me. 


End file.
